Not a vampire? Are you crazy?

Tears still running down her cheeks, her boyfriend left behind in the crowds, Jenny walked through the still bustling streets of Bangkok. Unbeknownst to her, a dark creature followed her. He smelled her tears and smiled. Easy pickings.

"Excuse me," the smiling monster tapped Jenny's shoulder. She jumped as she turned around. All she saw was a young, smiling Thai man. "You look lost... oh. Excuse me, are you alright?"

"I'm just..." Jenny sniffed and wiped away her tears. "I'm fine. I'm just looking for my hotel." Jenny smiled, hiding her sadness. "I think I'm a little lost."

"What hotel?" the monster smiled.

"Oh, um... the Sukhumvit Hotel?" Jenny smiled at the monster. "Did I pronounce that right?" The monster laughed.

"Yes! Your pronunciation is very good," he smiled and Jenny laughed, her tears fading. "Your hotel is close by. Would you like me to show you?"

"Yes, please. If it's not too much trouble!" Jenny glanced to the side.

"Oh, no trouble! No trouble at all!" the monster laughed and politely gestured in the right direction. Jenny smiled gratefully and they walked a ways.

"You're sure you don't mind?" Jenny asked.

"It's really no trouble," the monster assured her. "Just down this way." He gestured down an alleyway.

"Down there?" Jenny asked. She glanced at the monster nervously.

"The fastest way to your hotel is down this alley and then three blocks to the left," the monster assured her.

"But... is it safe?" Jenny asked.

"It is totally safe," the monster assured her with a smile. He led Jenny half way through the alley before turning to her.

"What?" Jenny asked looking into his glowing white eyes before gasping with realization.

"Totally safe. For me anyway," the monster looked Jenny up and down hungrily. Jenny began to whimper.

"Please don't hurt me," she whispered.

"No pain," the monster smiled as he pulled Jenny's head to one side, fangs extending. "For me anyway." Lips twitching the monster reached for Jenny's inviting neck. He tried to bite in but found himself just short of her neck. He pulled harder and found he couldn't move. A hand was holding his hair and lips appeared at his ear.

"She asked nicely," the second monster growled in an almost friendly voice. Then the second monster hurled the first into the wall behind him.

"Please don't hurt me," Jenny begged again her eyes shut tight.

"Don't worry, he won't hurt you now," came a much friendlier voice. Jenny opened her eyes to find a young white man, American by the clothes, standing in a heroic pose.

"What?" Jenny blinked.

"I won't let him hurt you, don't worry," the second monster smiled at Jenny.

"Where did he go?" Jenny slowly backed away from the strange new man looking for the monster she'd just seen.

"Oh, he's right over..." the second monster turned to point at his fallen foe to find no one there. "Oh, gottsverdammten vampire. Where'd that bugger go?"

"Oh god," Jenny backed into the wall, shaking.

"It'll be ok," the young man said, standing in front of Jenny, looking around attentively. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. "I'm Jay, by the way." Which was, of course, the moment the monster took to strike. The monster darted out of the darkness, snarling, claws reaching for this upstart.

Jay caught him by the throat without looking. While the monster struggled, Jay's head slowly turned. When the monster caught Jay's eyes they were glowing red and his fangs were extended.

"Bad move, brother," Jay winked at the monster before turning once again and hurling the hideous creature down the alleyway. He started to follow, but stopped when Jenny clutched at his arm.

"What did you call him?" Jenny asked, shaking still.

"Oh, a god damned vampire," Jay replied. "That was German, sorry."

"He's not a vampire," Jenny said quietly. Jay blinked.

"Not a vampire? Are you crazy?" Jay stared at Jenny, mouth agape. "What about the eyes? And the claws? And the scary?"

"There's no such thing as vampires!" Jenny insisted, backing away from Jay slightly.

"Oh, come on! How much more proof could you possibly need?" Jay complained.

"There's no such thing as vampires!" Jenny insisted more confidently.

"He disappeared again!" Jay gestured to where the monster no longer lay.

"That's because he ran off," a new voice came from the darkness. Jenny and Jay both turned to find a serious looking man walking towards them.

"You've got to be joking!" Jay grumbled as K walked up.

"He was trying to mug you, Jay here scared him, and he ran off," K said calmly to Jenny. Almost hypnotically. Jenny nodded absently.

"He was trying to mug me," the frightened girl agreed. "He ran off." K sighed at the girl.

"Your boyfriend is back there," K nodded back out of the alley. Jenny nodded and ran out of the alley.

"God dammit, K," Jay growled. Then he blinked, confused. "You didn't even use magic! How did you do that?"

"People believe what they want to believe," K shrugged. "Talk in a spooky voice and people will believe they're being hypnotized or whatever." K gave Jay a strange look. "Why were you so big on her thinking he was a vampire anyway?" Jay put on his innocent face. K parried with his annoyed face.

"Uh... well... you know... I just wanted her to believe," Jay looked down, embarrassed.

"Yeah, I got that part," K rolled his eyes. "It was the why part I didn't get." Jay sighed.

"I've just been thinking that if people started to believe then..." Jay paused.

"It would be easier for you to admit who you are to girls?" K guessed.

"Yeah," Jay admitted.

"I kinda figured," K gave his friend a sympathetic smile.

"Hey, what'd you do to that guy anyway?" Jay suddenly asked glancing around. K suddenly grinned.

"Remember how I told you about that shadow fire I was working on that gave off no light and transported the person on fire into the shadow realm?" K wiggled his eyebrows.

"Holy shit, that worked?" Jay laughed. "Freakin' awesome!"

"I knew you'd forgive me," K smirked. "I didn't know you'd be so quick about it."

"What are you... Dammit!" Jay groaned. K laughed and the two friends wandered off into the Bangkok night.

A lovely conversation.

J: LET IT RAIN!!!!
K: Rain. You are aware it's sunny out.
J: Let it rain down on me?
J: 4 Strings?
J: I like to keep my pimp hand strong.
K: Four what?
J: lol
J: Follow! All my love it's you that I dream of, all my love since that day! Dancing with you in the summer rain!
J: *dance dance REVOLUTION!*
J: *has issues* :)
K: You don't really need to tell me that. I'm well aware of your mental state, or lack thereof.
J: *loves tacos*
K: And, as per usual, you bounce back quickly.
J: We're going out tonight, you in?
K: Not tonight, no. I have work to finish and a date later.
J: Ok.
K: Keep asking though. One of these days free time will be mine again.
J: No problem.
J: Make this girl write me back and tell me she likes me. DO IT! DO IT NOW!
K: What girl?
J: The one I mailed last night.
K: Yes, that narrows it down nicely. I definitely know what you're talking about now.
J: I showed you her profile yesterday assmuppet.
K: Oh, that one. That actually does help narrow it down.
J: The financial one. 32. Real pretty.
K: If I knew where she lived, I'd have a gun to her head making her like you already. That's how I roll.
J: Now that's friendship.
K: heh...
J: I'm listening to Pretty Women as we speak.
J: ROFL
J: LOLLERSKATES
K: You're sure full of energy today. And caps.
J: I'm just excited about the girl.
K: Oh good. Not like that's ever gone wrong in the past.
J: Shut it!
J: Monkey steals the peach!
K: No, my testicles are staying right where they are, thank you very much.
J: Dude, check out these hot remixes.
K: Techno?
J: Hot, kickin' techno. Two remixes of the same song.
K: Right.
K: The first one is awesome.
K: So's the second one. Two remixes of the same song that are awesome? This must create a rift in space-time or something.
J: I know!
K: I must say, I prefer the first one though. I like the use of the strings.
J: I like the use of boobs.
K: There's a boob remix?
J: I wish.
J: I want time to play with Sandy.
K: We all want that. Seems like you're the only one who has any potential to get that anyway.
J: Let me rephrase! I want play time AGAIN with Sandy.
K: Oh. Well, that's different.
K: Shall we add the addendum "right now"?
J: I thought I explained this whole thing to you.
J: Might as well add right now since it doesn't have a chance in hell of happening.
K: Right now? Or ever?
J: Unfortunately ever. "I got a little crazy", her words.
K: Sometimes... ok, frequently, I really wish I could punch the stupid out of the women you try to date.
J: It was the most fun I've had in a long time.
K: I hear you.
J: But she got all weirded out and was all like "I don't know if we can be friends" and what not.
K: Girls. Can't live with 'em, and if you bury too many in the basement, eventually people notice.
J: LOL.
J: So yeah, it's either be friends with no play, or not be friends with no play.
K: Given your shitty options, go with option A.
J: She's ignoring me anyway. Which she does.
K: So I've noticed.
J: She usually talks to me again. But doing fun stuff with her was like a ... horribly addictive drug.
J: You know the holocaust?
K: Total opposite?
J: Exactly.
K: I grok you, loud and clear.
J: Her skin is like liquid satin.
K: And now we've entered into the realm of STOP TELLING ME THESE THINGS.
J: heh...
J: I'm giving you book ideas.
K: I don't do bodice rippers.
J: You could. I have faith in you.
K: You are aware I can set you on fire from here, right?
J: Yes, but then I would get significantly less work done.
K: You're working? You're spending a lot of time IMing me here.
J: Spoke the pot to the kettle.
K: Have you heard my typing slow when you were composing your replies?
J: Oh, shut up you multitasking master.
K: Back to work with you!